The cause of your insanity
by guessmename
Summary: "They had a feeling it was going to be another miserable attempt for you to reach peace with yourself but they were wrong...They were so wrong." One -shot after 5x05. Contains suicide.


You continue to stare at the burning house in front of you when you four hear the chimes of your phones all going off together.

You can feel Ezra behind you looking at you with a concerning glance because he is afraid you're going to snap into insanity and if you were being honest you would be afraid of it too.

You know that you can't break now because if the text is from who you think it is it's going to take all of you to solve the mysteries to come and you know that you can't give them more to worry about so you save yourself delving into insanity for later, preferably when your alone.

* * *

It has been a week since the burning of Toby's house and A's torment has been tearing you apart even more. You always say that your fine whenever somebody asks you because you don't need them to worry about you as they have their own issues, they have their own lives to mend.

You would think that you have it the easiest but with each passing moment you're not sure how much longer you going to make it. You confide to Ezra what's tearing you apart and he says to find a way to get over it _but you can't_. Even you want a way to make yourself feel better but you know that it won't come with anything you've been doing. That's how you ended up here.

You feel weak and pathetic now because you can't be there when somebody needs you to be. _You're not the same. _Your friends have noticed and no matter what you say to them they seem like they don't get it. That's why you stopped going to them. It's why you're so distant.

They said to come over in the afternoon because there was more business and all you said was that there was something that you had to do. They had a feeling it was going to be another miserable attempt for you to reach peace with yourself but they were wrong.

_They were so wrong._

Because this time you are going to succeed, this time you will feel the guilt off your shoulders. You're sick of walking into places and hearing them whisper about what could have possibly happened and you want to scream it. You want to tell the world and get it off your shoulders but that would cause more issues for your friends and that is something you didn't want to do.

* * *

You wonder how long they will wait before they come looking for you or start without out you.

You haven't left your room in the past week and you haven't eaten or slept. You just lay in bed all week, not moving, but alive.

This was your cause of your insanity and you've reached your peak. It was time to come back down to reality or disappear. You knew the first option was out of the equation so you went with the second.

You just finished the recording you were doing so the others would know what happened to you. You did it so they wouldn't worry about you and move on with their lives. You say how sorry you are because you weren't strong enough.

In your heart you think this is a selfish act because what about you parents and Ezra how were they going to come to terms with this. How where you friends not meant blame themselves for this? They would say that they should have realized just how bad you were. You feel sorry for their loved ones because it's your fault their going to be in tears about you and the only reason you did this was to get out of the guilt that was ripping you soul apart.

You look at yourself in the mirror on the other side of the room and notice just how red your eyes where from tears. You take one last look at the time and have a few more thoughts of your favourite memories with all your friends, family and Ezra.

You take you final step off that stool muttering two single words as you do.

"I'm sorry"

That was the last time you would ever talk again.

_That was the last time you would ever breath again._

_That's the last time you would feel __**Guilty**__ again._

* * *

**I have no regrets with this.  
If you have any one-shot ideas feel free to tell me and ill do them.  
I have got to write a happy ending story sometime.  
I promise this is my last upload for today.**

**-Guessmename (waddles away)**


End file.
